The Lady and the Tiger

When great things happen, artists are inspired. So when the epic events that captivated our city some two weeks ago transpired, needless to say, I was very inspired. My first reaction was to compose a poem, as witnessed here. But the urge to document this great event was not satisfied. So I began a new attempt, a short story, one that should stand for all time as a historical record of the fine achievement of one lady who dared to “cross the line” one early morning in November. Tiger Lady, I salute you; may this story in some way do small justice to your triumph.

Furthermore, it will stand as a record of the time I swiftly and completely torpedoed any chance I ever had at having a writing career. I doubt very seriously I will sell another book once this masterpiece is unleashed.

 

Without further ado, as I prepare to bid adieu, allow me to present “The Lady and the Tiger.” I would say, “Enjoy”, but I make it a point to never demand the impossible.

THE LADY AND THE TIGER

Or, A Work of Considerable Importance

By Someone Who is Not Jeremy Morong 

The parking lot was vast. It was long and cold. When cars would zip by on 13th Street, the drivers and passengers inside would speak of what once was: Rosenblatt, the home of cheering throngs who delighted in the exploits of college baseballers. But no more. At this late hour it sat empty, but only temporarily, for it eagerly awaited teems of mini-vans and SUVs that would arrive loaded to bear with eager children and beleaguered parents. They would journey forsooth in search of the big city pleasures found at the world-renowned Omaha Henry Doorly Zoo, the enterprise that had taken over this plot of land, the first phase of their plot for world domination in the field of zoology. A lofty goal, perhaps, but achievable, as it was no mere row of cages like the zoos of yore; this fine facility boasted wild jungles, shark-filled oceans, and a rolling savanna, among other recreations of the natural world.  

The lot was not quite empty, however. One car dared to makes its residence here, idling loudly as it crisscrossed two handicap parking spaces. When the engine quieted, a gentle voice could be heard within. “Dear lady, please wake up.” This was followed by a tender shaking of the woman’s shoulder.

Review of Spectre aka Bond 24

James Bond has returned! This time it's in Spectre, a James Bond movie that functions almost as sort of a greatest hits set of the 23 prior films. Of course, there are plenty of references to the prior films starring Daniel Craig, and this movie does a good job of tying them all together. But the allusions go much deeper than that, with references to older Bonds. Some references are implicit (the skeleton imagery of Live and Let Die, a fight on a train out of From Russia With Love, battles up in the mountains akin to On Her Majesty's Secret Service) , others are more explicit, such as the return of Ernst Blofeld and the ejection seat.  

I enjoyed the film. It's entertaining. It's Bond. There's tons of what makes James Bond James Bond. But the truth is, while greatest hits sets have their place, I've always preferred listening to the original albums, with the songs slotted in their proper place rather than the haphazard running order in which those collections are often assembled. Ultimately, I feel somewhat the same with this film, with the parts never quite reaching a fully satisfying whole. Still, Craig continues to play the part well, and there's enough going on for most to find something to enjoy, and likely a lot more than that.

A Poem About a Woman Who Broke Into the Zoo and Was Bit by a Tiger That She was Trying to Pet and Take a Selfie With…Allegedly

She stuck her hand inside the cage,
And oh! That Tiger felt such rage,
If only she knew better at her age,
But no! His jaws would not assuage,
Through the iron bars, standard gauge,
And oh! They’ve made the front page,
The world is naught but their stage,
But no! Her finger gone, a costly wage.