An Interview

Since people aren’t exactly lining up to interview me about my new book, Someday We'll Figure It All Out, I decided to do the next-most logical thing…and interview myself...I mean, line up an interview with a BIG IMPORTANT INTERVIEWER GUY.

The results went about as well as expected.

BIG IMPORTANT INTERVIEW GUY (Who is Totally Not Jeremy Morong): So you have this new book, Someone Else Will Cover It Up.

Jeremy Morong: Excuse me. I’m sorry to interrupt, but the title is Someday We’ll Figure It All Out. I believe you’re thinking of a book about the end of the Nixon Presidency.

BIIG: Aw, yes. My mistake. So you have this book, Somebody Needs to Find Someone to Love. How is it selling for you?

JM: Well, not as well as I’d like or I wouldn’t be doing an interview with you, Mr. BIG IMPORTANT INTERVIEWER GUY.

BIIG: I see. Well, perhaps it’s the title. It’s rather confusing. What does it mean?

JM: It’s meant to be sort of provocative and ambiguous, see.

BIIG: Ambiguous? What do frogs and toads have to do with it?

JM: No, I mean ambiguity—that the title can have more significance than just one thing, that there’s not one exact meaning though the phrase is used a time or two in the book. An eye of the beholder sort of thing. My hope is that it makes you think a bit.

BIIG: Think what?

JM: Hopefully, “I think I want to buy this book.”

BIIG: See, there’s the problem. I think a good title should tell you what the book’s about. Take Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, for example. It’s about Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.

JM: So it is. Unless you live anywhere else besides the US. Then it’s called Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.

BIIG: Now that’s an entirely worthless bit of trivia. Are you always this much of a geek?

JM: No, not always. Sometimes I sleep. (Laughs loudly, only coming to an uncomfortable stop when the BIG IMPORTANT INTERVIEWER GUY doesn’t join in.)

All right, then. So what are some other good titles?

BIIG: Harry Potter and Half-Blood Prince. See, it’s about Harry Potter and the…

JM: Half-Blood Prince. Yes, I understand. Are you aware of any great non-Harry Potter titles?

Someday We'll Figure It All Out -- First Chapter

So I have done a thing. 

I've published my fourth book, available now on Amazon! And hey, here's a description of it!

Mikey Moon is 10, with a lot of growing up to do. To do it, he'll have to follow the good examples set by Mom, younger brother, Sid, and best friend, Travis, while overcoming the bad influence of almost everyone else, including his other best friend, Hank. Along the way there will be adventures and misadventures, celebrations and tragedies, mysteries and mind-numbing boredom. In other words, childhood. Told by Mikey himself, in the way that only he can.

Hmmm. Doesn't appear you've clicked the link to go to Amazon and purchase it yet. All right, fine--here's the first chapter, too:

The Legend of Mr. Green, Nintendo in Heaven, and Wondering if Life Could Exist Without Baseball

WHEN OLD MAN GREEN DIED, there was a great deal of commotion around the neighborhood. Mostly, because everyone thought he was dead already.

He might as well have been. To us kids Mr. Green was a ghost, a phantom, the Halley’s Comet in human form. He lived right next door to us, always had, yet I had actually seen him only twice in all of my years. 

Once was when our wiffle ball went over the tall, wrought iron fence that stood between his backyard and ours at the beginning of the summer of 1991. What were we to do? My mom had always warned my brother, Sid, and I about Mr. Green. “There’s something not right about that man,” she would say. “Imagine never coming outside, ever! You boys stay away. I don’t ever want to catch you on his property.”